The Truth Behind All Fairy Tales
by kagemaji
Summary: Chapter 4 is up! What will happen if everyone has a role in a fairytale?...How would Sasuke react to find the princess on their house, on HIS bed? An InoShika fic some KakashiXIruka and I don't really know who to pair Sasuke with..tell me..
1. prologue

A/N: uhm...yeah, this is our first fic, so please be kind... All reviews would be appreciated... Actually Kagemaji is the one who thought this silly thing and I just edited it but I ended up writing 75% of it... This fic contains corniness that you'll end up seeing corns...(corny..) Kagemaji really wanted me to say that. Anyways... this is a warning.  
  
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto (my husband...).  
  
"THE TRUTH BEHIND ALL FAIRY TALES..."  
  
by: Kagemaji & Snowbunny01313  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
Of course, all fairytales do start with a "once upon a time" cause maybe its all for the kicks, but we'll stick to the tradition cause I'm too lazy to set a specific timeline, you get the idea....  
  
Once upon a time, in a far away land, maybe not-so far. A king lived in his shining castle, together with his sexy wife. Now, this is not an ordinary couple, for they were shinobis in disguise and well, they decided to play their part in this story anyway...  
The king, a harsh tobacco smoker, who is also known to have claimed his throne through a brawn match, is a lax ruler in the person of Asuma. His sexy wife, Queen Kurenai is a calm collected shinobi with an exquisite taste for fashion and make-up. They have everything their hearts desire except for one, ----a child of their own. It isn't a real problem actually, all they have to do is... uhm...  
  
do what couples do in bed...(ehem)  
  
But, as if on bizarre instinct, they still believe that babies are brought in sacks by storks which are unfortunately extinct...for two reasons: people's lack food and storks are not part of this story...  
  
You get the point.  
  
One night, there were joyous shouts heard in the castle's premises, actually it was more like Asuma's large ego echoing...  
  
Queen Kurenai is pregnant. At last, they've come to their senses.  
  
The next few months spent on the kingdom was full of glee and enthusiasm. Everyone is so excited about the baby. Yes, the baby. One late afternoon, Mr. Gai – the butler, came running to the queen, thrashing the door with a cool taijutsu move in the process.  
  
"YOUR HIGHNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!, I HAVE A TERRIBLE NEWS!!!..." his voice, (or shout) ringing in the large well-furnished room at the tallest tower at the west wing of the castle where the Queen Kurenai lies browsing through "How- To-Be-A-Good-Mother-And-A-Ninja-Queen-In-Disguise.-And-Still –Look-Damn- Good™"  
  
"Speak, Mr. Gai... I am not deaf, calm down..." the queen, although on her ninth month, still retained a calm composure despite the sweaty man in front of her, a broken door, and a nearly broken eardrum.  
  
"I CANNOT LET THIS BE!!!!! IT IS HORRIBLE!!! TERRIFYING!!!" Butler Gai continued not minding the queen who is now showing possibilities of child miscarriage.  
  
A kunai was thrown, missing a few centimeters from the mushroom hair of the taijustsu master, and that shut the butler's mouth...  
  
'Terrible' thought the frustrated queen. Just then, Butler Gai started relating the story about passing by an old beggar woman while training a dwarf in a more err...calm manner.  
  
"The old beggar said that she had a bad dream about you, your highness, she said that your child, which is to be a girl (Kurenai throwing more kunais because of excitement)..ehem , let me finish first...ah, the girl is going to be ugly as a monster, gonna grow to be a rebel, gonna love rock music and serve someone called IlParazzo..." Butler Gai explained, tears streaking downs his eyes.  
  
"Il—whatzit? Well, that wasn't so bad... calm down Butler Gai... you shouldn't believe some wacko" Queen Kurenai overcome with happiness just waved her hand.  
  
"NO MADAM!!! IlParazzo is from this weird anime called Excel toot and he's trying to conquer the world with excessive use of insanity!!! No wacko would ever mention, let alone pronounce his name. This man might even order your own daughter to assassinate the entire Kingdom!!!" retorted Gai, looking like his veins were about to pop.  
  
The queen fell silent and thought deeply.  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about but if that's the case, let's call the old beggar, ok? Does she have a landline, or cell phone?" the queen still looking all starry..  
  
---------...:"0":...-------------  
  
All the people who heard the news made disbelieving reactions and started making weird conclusions, ah, gossip spread fast. One story says that King Asuma has a monster blood running in his veins and another is that, the king was cursed by some snake-looking bastard.  
  
As if agreeing with the situation, it started snowing badly outside the castle.  
  
"Is it in the genes?" asked Queen Kurenai.  
  
"I think so..." Butler Gai replied.  
  
"But in our family bloodline, no other person is considered a monster until he/she marries a... well, a monster perhaps" blushing for a seemingly stupid answer, King Asuma just scratch the back of his head while sitting on his big chair in the throne room.  
  
"So are you saying, I'm the monster?" the queen who resented the statement threw a blazing look at the king. If looks could kill, Asuma would be shreds by now. Getting into the bad side of a skillful jounin let alone, a pregnant queen is uncharted territory, so King Asuma had thought better to shut his mouth and leave the talking to the butler.  
  
"No, i-i-it isn't l-l-like that, oh beautiful queen of ours...Its just that there were rumors that...uh, monsters roam around before and were sealed inside people to stop chaos, these were horrifying creatures of course, unlike you, whi spark in elegance..." Butler Gai, carefully chose the words as not to upset the very annoyed queen. She reminded him of the sand-brat with the suspicious gourd.  
  
"...I think I did marry one..." the pretty queen coolly replied turning her head to her husband.  
  
"EH? Is anything wrong dear?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Why are you looking at me?" Azuma asked oblivious of what the queen just said.  
  
"No It's fine Asuma darling..." Kurenai replied with a fake smile then turning to the butler.  
  
"Is there anything we can do to undo the situation?" the queen asked wearily  
  
"I hope so Madam..." Butler Gai answered gloomily.  
  
The next "one winter's night", an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered the butler a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Although he was repulsed by her haggard appearance he let her in.  
  
"Oi, Oi, Oi! Chotto!" the old woman blurted.  
  
"Why did you let me in? Are you crazy?" The beggar mocked, pointing an accusing finger to the butler.  
  
'What the--?!' "You asked for shelter! You should be thankful you..., you...you..tooot!!!!!!!" Gai exclaims feeling mortified.  
  
"Yah I know that..." she interrupted. "But you're suppose to dismiss me two times, then I'll turn you into a hideous beast. After that I'll cast a powerful spell into this castle and all who live here...but WAIT!!" The old beggar turned to Gai, making a horrible facial expression as her eyes widen, almost popping out of the socket as realization struck her.  
  
"Is this the Beast's castle?!" the beggar asked  
  
"...."  
  
"y'know, the one with no love in his heart? You get me?"  
  
Gai thought for a while.  
  
"Well?" the woman asked impatiently  
  
"uhm....If you're talking about our King Asuma...." Butler Gai started  
  
"Now we're talking... , show me to him, I'm behind schedule." The beggar getting more and more impatient.  
  
"Wait....I think you have it all wrong. I can assure you that our king's heart is filled with lovey dovey stuffs from his wife."  
  
"WHAT!?!?!!... Are you sure THIS is the "BEAST'S" castle..." she screamed, her voice mixed with confusion and impatience  
  
"Uhm, excuse me Butler Gai, but who is our visitor? "Queen Kurenai appeared by the door, interrupting the eruption of the ugly beggar.  
  
"Oh, my queen, she's..." and the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful ninja. Only the butler's jaw dropped in awe.  
  
"Hi my name is Tsunade.. oneofthelegendaryninjas,ofALLtime,Iknowyou'reGLADtomeetme.... may I help you?" she said it before Kurenai could even open her mouth.  
  
Tsunade once again blurted getting ready to get out: "Alright then, here's my calling card. If you need anything just call me, right then, goodbye!"  
  
Suddenly, Asuma's enormous chakra that was stored inside his body erupted by shouting like a thousand roaring beasts saying an ear- shattering...  
  
"WAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTT!!!!!!" blowing half of the castle down (this is getting exaggerated...) leaving Tsunade shock to death.(then again..)  
  
For a moment, she then showed signs of life and maintained her poised demeanor.  
  
"Ohkaaaay, what's the problem? Y'know, I'm really late for my appointment...." Tsunade replied in an 'I'm-so-important-so-don't-interrupt- my-schedule' manner.  
  
"Please do something with the appearance of our child..." Kurenai started.  
  
"Ohkaaay, continue..." They all went inside the throne room.  
  
"Gai, our trusted butler came to us with a bad news He said an old beggar woman told him that...."  
  
After 15 minutes of exaggerated storytelling  
  
"Please do something for the sake of our beloved child!" sobbed the queen who was now crying her heart out, after realizing how serious the situation for her whole kingdom was. King Asuma by her side patting her back.  
  
"Ohkaaay, ok then..." Tsunade now made different hand seals while murmuring some incantations pointing to the baby in the womb.  
  
"Alright, I think I did it right, you're baby's gonna be fine now..."  
  
Queen Kurenai looked at her belly and saw a Kanji of "love" surrounded by different patterns.  
  
"Wait a minute" the King looked at the inscriptions carefully.  
  
"What now?" an annoyed Tsunade turned towards the king  
  
"The kanji..."  
  
"So??? What's with the symbol? Look, Mr. King, I'm really behind schedule"  
  
"How do we know our child won't turn into a hideous, sand monster and a bloody killer type? I've definitely seen this kanji before written on a head of a weird murderer possessed by a sand demon and raccoon.." It didn't make any sense but for Gai, Kurenai and Asuma, it definitely did.  
  
Looking puzzled, the blonde thought for a while, but since her time is running out, she just gave them her calling card and some insurance papers to fill up. The king, being satisfied with the insurance papers, bade Tsunade goodbye.  
  
Days passed and everything was going fine, even the rumors about King Asuma's blood line were saved from inhuman approaches, mainly by the old women who do nothing but gossip about how they lost their poor husbands to evil monsters. King Asuma sat on his throne smoking his tobacco, not minding whether his lungs would suddenly break from the habit. It was all heaven and everything was going smoothly until...  
  
"KIIIIIIIIING ASUUUUUMAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"  
  
The king naturally fell from his seat, almost choking the large tobacco.  
  
"MY KIIIIIING...!!!!" Butler Gai's face was filled with mixed emotions (not to mention sweat..eww), his face turning a slight shade of pink, then red, then blue...violet...green and red again...then blue...  
  
"WHAT D' F&# % DO YOU F&#%ng BASTARD WANT?????" the King's face was really turning crimson. Smoke emitting from his ears, flames everywhere, he must've swallowed the tobacco.  
  
"My Lord... its time!!!!" Gai was in a painful shade of green...  
  
"Time for what??!!" King Asuma trying to get his comfortable position back in his chair.  
  
Suddenly there were cries heard inside the castle and both men had their eyes popped.  
  
"THE BABY!!!" They both exclaimed and ran to the tallest tower at the west wing.  
  
To be continued......  
  
A/N:  
  
Snowbunny01313: Did you see corns?  
  
Kagemaji: shame on you..  
  
Snowbunny: We really love Beauty and the Beast, it definitely reflects  
the both of us, I being beauty...  
  
Kagemaji rips Snowbunny to shreds.  
  
Snowbunny: Anyways, it was fun doing the prologue, Gai is exaggerated and I think Asuma and Kurenai make a great pair.  
  
Kagemaji: Guess who's gonna be the princess, the seven dwarfs, the prince. With a fairy, a mirror, a horse that doesn't walk, more monsters and an evil witch.  
  
Snowbunny: REVIEWS PLEASE... 


	2. A Little Bit of A Perfect Girl

A/N: If the story sounds familiar, don't sue us... its very obvious.  
  
DISCLAIMER : Naruto and all its fantastic characters belong to my  
boyfriend...Kishimoto Masashi...  
  
CHAPTER 1  
"A LITTLE BIT OF A PERFECT GIRL"  
  
When Butler Gai and King Asuma got to the tower, they were filled with  
stinking sweat, each part of their bones quivered with excitement which  
makes them it hard for them to climb the God-awful flight of stairs.  
  
"Imagine wh-h-hat I've been through-h-h just courting her" gasping, the  
king almost tumbled.  
  
"(pant)(pant) I know your h-h-highness, no wonder they made you king...  
(pant)(pant)"  
  
At last, after a brutal, heart-wrenching adventure towards the top of the tower, they made it and was surprised to see Queen Kurenai lying on the bed, eyes closed, very pale. Beside her is a small bundle. The King's heart was shattered.  
  
"D-d-did s-she d-die?" Asuma's voice shook with utter disbelief. He knew that some women die giving birth and he also knew it could never be his wife. Kurenai is strong and he knows it. But as he lay eyes on the seemingly lifeless woman on the bed, he can't help but sulk. Ever so slowly, he approached his beautiful queen, the air felt grave, his heart seemed to stop.  
  
All seemed...grey.  
  
Asuma's eyes were filled of what he now know as tears, hot liquid streaking down to cup his face as he inched his face closer to his beloved queen.  
  
He cried. Nothing else matters now. It was a sour moment for everyone inside the room and Gai accompanied the women out the door; his face distorted with mix emotions, turning an awful shade of lavender.  
  
Asuma lay his head beside the silk sheets and started to sob. "Shut up you clamorous amphibian sht, you're gonna wake up the baby"  
  
Asuma looked up and saw an annoyed face from Kurenai.  
  
"YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!" King Asuma jumped from his knees and hugged his wife, he never felt so.."BAM!"  
  
"Sht YOU!!!!! DON'T BE SO CARELESS, YOU MORONIC A$$HOLE!!!" King Asuma hit the wall.  
  
"I know what you're saying, she's perfect but.."  
  
"But what?"  
  
"What's with the blonde hair???"  
  
The baby turned out to be beautiful, with lips red as an apple, skin fair and white as snow but with a golden crown. It was very unlikely to have a blonde child since both couple have dark hairs and even if we call it genetics, they have certainly never encountered any "blondie" in the family.  
  
The king twitched his eyebrows as a gentle wisp of air was heard on the other line of the phone. Asuma sought to settle things with Tsunade for the "mistake" but to his dismay, he isn't been taken seriously. He's having a very hard time listening to Tsunade's reasons about blunders on hand seals, thanks to all the commotion going on the background by slutty maids adoring the poor kid while the old men give stupid omen about the end of the kingdom.  
  
"Look, its not that she's a monster or something, I hear everyone's happy and besides, she's your daughter black, red or yellow hair, okay?  
  
"But.. she's suppose to have beautiful strands as black as ebony!" the king is aggravated, he's getting nowhere. He knows it's a silly conversation but they gotta stick to tradition or his daughter's gonna end up like some perfect sweet dumb blonde, Miss Universe or something, or if she becomes too perfect.... a porn star...ehem.. but that's too far-fetched.  
  
"SHAME ON YOU!!!" Tsunade almost broke the receiver.  
  
"What??" Asuma froze, he didn't even think that Tsunade read his thoughts, that would be very...uhm, weird.  
  
"oh, sorry, I was reading a text message..ahehehe.."  
  
Asuma sweatdropped.  
  
"Okay, back to business.. look, Mr. King, we all know that most FAMOUS aka. POPULAR people are blonde, like Barbie, Christina, Jessica, Hilary, Sailor Moon, Britney (although unnatural) and ME...got it? Its just FYI just in case you're still against it, so chill it 'kay? Tsunade's ego can be felt through the phone, it swelled to the point of nirvana.  
  
King Asuma on the other hand, had never heard of such people, but that Barbie is quite familiar, not to mention that Britney. Oh well, might as well accept the fact that he must love his daughter whatever hair color she has.  
  
"Uhm..fine, but if anything goes wrong, I still have my insurance papers, please remember that." The king, trying to reassure his self.  
  
"Ohohohohoho...." She snickered with a fox-like voice.  
  
"As you can see Mr. Asuma, blondes are beautiful and she's very lucky she turned out looking like me. That's what you call true beauty...haha....well then ja ne!"  
  
"Oh, it's no use..." sighed Asuma pressing the dial tone. He then turned to Kurenai who was busy tinkering with the baby's little nose (aaaw..)  
  
"What shall we name her?" he asked.  
  
"Uhm...look Asuma, her skin is so soft, supple and it's as white as snow don't you think?" Asuma nodded.  
  
"Let's call her Yukino" the queen suggested. Asuma's brow wrinkled but his face soon brightened when he understood the gallantness of the name, "Yuki" for snow and...  
  
"Let's call her Ino, for short..." Kurenai interrupted, but soon Asuma started nodding his head in agreement.  
  
"Ino" is a nice name...  
  
After 7 years  
  
Ino grew up to be one of those bubbly, cute princesses loving everything that came to her view. Birds flying around her as flowers bloomed (surprisingly) in every footstep in the garden... The gardener, Iruka is really having a hard time with all this "cuteness" going on, not to mention the fog of bubbles around the little tyke. Its ridiculous.  
  
Ino was happily playing in the garden near the wall where a gate stood separating the castle grounds from a road. In sickly slow motion, Ino almost flew through the sunflowers around her, hands reached out to the "adorable" blue birds and butterflies around her, aggravating Iruka who's veins are on the verge of popping out of the his head. Imagine, brains flying. Blood everywhere..hehe.  
  
But the little princess continued her mad exploitation of excessive wonder and happiness, drifting off to the far side of the gate; she could almost hear a voice...a sound...  
  
the sound of music...  
  
Iruka heard it too, something like "the hills are alive..." or something. He definitely thought he was loosing it and just shudders.  
  
It all stopped when Ino hit the gate with her head, hard. Pretty much expected from a "dumb blonde".  
  
"Ow!" she sat touching her sore forehead, even the blue birds aren't so clever, and hit the gate and soon hit the ground, knocked out.  
  
"Oi, Are you alright?"  
  
Ino heard someone across the gate. She stood up to see a boy with an expression more on the lazy side than that of concern.  
  
"uhm...yeah..thanks" she replied. The boy just looked at her, she was sure that he flashed a lopsided grin but the lad's features remained somewhat hazy.  
  
The boy looked at the princess in front of him, he really thought girls were stupid but he had no idea that they would be THIS stupid. Its rather silly to see someone hit a solid gate in front of them.  
  
"Is there anything you want?" Ino broke the silence, a bit annoyed with all the staring she gets.  
  
"No, I was just passing by." The boy looked down to see the half-dead birds across the gate. He gave a disgusted look. Ino on the other hand just stared at the figure before her. Its her first time to see someone on head level, although he was a bit taller by mere inches. She drank in the sight of the lad dressed in black shirt over grey jacket with short sleeves and black cargo pants. His hair is short but is already tied up. He looks out of their world and she thinks that everything looks out of fashion.  
  
"What?" It was the boy's turn to be intimidated.  
  
"uhm, nothing, If you don't mind, may I ask where are you going?" Ino blushed a little and decided to have a good conversation with this pretty alienated guy. The boy however, is not responding, it would be too troublesome to tell her something since he knew that it would lead to more questions and he has no intention on bothering himself over some pesky girl.  
  
"Well? Its just a question, it would be rude not to answer a princess" she continued.  
  
Oh, yeah, she IS a princess. Point made.  
  
"uhm... I'm going to a land so far away, going through scorching desserts, past blistering-cold mountains, crossing vast planes and oceans to the highest peak of a dead volcano, climb the tallest tower, fight a dragon to save another slutty princess."  
  
Ino just stared, mouth parted; not really knowing how to react to what he said. On the other hand, the lad just stared at the young princess with those lazy eyes, assuming that the girl didn't even understand a thing, and he was right.  
  
"Oh, well, if that's the case, good luck my brave warrior and please return safely. Let's talk more when you come back. Okay?" The princess just smiled ever so sweetly to the stranger almost melting the gate in the process, bubbles everywhere.  
  
The boy was a bit taken aback with the reply. 'Brave warrior?' 'return safely?' 'talk more?' It was really weird for him to be hearing those. No one really gave a damn about him, he thought that maybe like him, everyone was too lazy to give words of encouragement to another "lazy" guy like himself and this girl whom he doesn't even know were saying things like she was "someone" in his life. She really is stupid, stupid but interesting.  
  
"What's your name?" He finally asked.  
  
"Princess Yukino, but you can call me Ino, bout you?" the princess happily replied. It's a good thing that the stranger even asked her name, he was being silent a while ago, she thought she said something wrong.  
  
The boy eyed her once more, 'Ino? what kind of name is that anyway?'. He moved away, ready to leave but was stopped by Ino's shouts.  
  
"Oi! You didn't tell me your name...Oi!!! Oi!!!!"  
  
'Tsk, she's loud... oh well..'  
  
"Shikamaru..."  
  
"what?" she can't hear clearly.  
  
"My name is Shikamaru..."  
  
"Mama, mama!" Ino came running up the tower towards the Queen's room shouting.  
  
"Mama, mama, listen!" a door opens.  
  
"I met someone, mama!!" door opens.  
  
"His name is Shikamaru and he's weird...  
Can you hear me mama?!" door opens.  
  
"I have a friend mama, I'll be happy" door opens.  
  
"I won't be lonely anymore, even if papa's not here" door opens.  
  
"Can you hear me?" door opens.  
  
"MAMA!!" The queen's door opens and Ino still smiling, stared wide-eyed at the sight of the figure hanging from the ceiling.  
  
The little princess was greeted with a sight. "What?" The Queen eyed her child as she stared at the thing hanging from the ceiling. "Were you expecting me to be the one hanging like some disturbed-eva-pilot's mother?" Ino sighed in relief and asked  
  
"No mama, but what is that thing hanging in the ceiling?"  
  
"Oh..." Kurenai reached for the life-size poster of Brad Pitt. "It's just a poster. By the way, what were you saying Ino darling?"  
  
Ino then stretched her hands holding a bouquet of flowers. "I picked it up awhile ago in our garden for you mama. When I grow up I'll build my own flower shop and that is all for you!" Kurenai smiled and took the gift.  
  
"Thank you, sweetheart" Kurenai suddenly wondered where her daughter got the flowers, she was sure Ino wasn't holding anything when she came and she was sure they just popped out of her hands.. oh, well, they were really pretty anyway.  
  
Suddenly, with a cool smokey effect a man popped beside the queen whispered something to Kurenai.  
  
"You're late.... What? Yondaime? Right now?" the queen eyed the guy anxiously.  
  
Ino stared at the man who's face was mostly covered and silver strands heading to the other side of the head.  
  
The man nodded. Kurenai then faced her daughter. "Ino dear, I will be leaving for awhile, be a good girl ok? Gai and our new butler Kakashi will take care of you. Oh, and while we're away, one of my relatives will come and join you, do you understand Ino?" The queen's voice was grave and shaky.  
  
"Yes mother." Ino answered cheerfully not knowing that it's going to be the last time she'll ever see her mother again.  
  
Queen Kurenai started packing, Yondaime ordered her to follow King Asuma who was given a mission a month before. Although he's the king, Asuma still follows the Yondaime. Kurenai knew something's wrong and also knew that she may never come back alive to see her daughter again. With some of her trusted shinobis including Butler Gai, she left the poor princess under Kakashi's care.  
  
After months of despair in the entire kingdom, Princess Ino gradually changed. No longer is she a dumb blonde, no longer do flowers bloom everywhere she stepped (much to Iruka's relief), no longer do the blue birds sing sweetly around her. The little princess became strong under Kakashi's training and Iruka's position as a gardener was promoted to butler by Kakashi...hmm... Both jounin spend mornings and afternoons teaching Ino about new techniques and they spend evenings together for...uhm conversations about the uhm...kingdom. (yeah right, ahehehe)  
  
One calm night, a girl came crashing inside the castle saying that she's in charge of everything, in behalf of the queen's dead relative. The girl demanded to see the princess and demanded the crown. Confused with everything happening so sudden (it IS too sudden!) Kakashi tried to stop her but he was defeated due to his carelessness. Now the poor jounin is sealed inside a magic mirror, nobody knows why or HOW.  
  
Seeing this, Ino tried to save her mentor but it was too late. The girl right in front of her, lowered her head and said with a devilish smile  
  
"My name is Sakura Haruno. I'm going to be the queen from now on....WAHAHAHAHA!!" Ino was surprised to see that a girl that seemed to be the same age as hers will be queen and... wait a minute, she just barged in, demanding the crown, annointing herself queen and turning Butler Kakashi into a mirror? Its utterly ridiculous, not to mention crazy.  
  
"Who the hell are you anyway??? You don't just barge in here and say you're going to be queen! That's very abnormal even for a normal human being!" Ino inched closer to the girl so they were almost nose to nose. But she was surprised, no, slash that, she got scared when she saw underneath her pink hair was a thing she had never imagined a NORMAL person could own..  
  
A very wide forehead. So wide it's disturbing.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT???" Sakura's voice rang. Ino backed away. Her screech was so ....monster-like!  
  
Certainly, this is not an average enemy, maybe she's one of those kids with monsters sealed inside their bodies, she thought for a second, understanding the situation, if she let the monster out, it was sure trouble, so she sought a way of ending this little dispute with a peaceful negotiation.  
  
"Let's talk" Ino finally said. She can survive drastic measures given by this Sakura but she knew in her heart that accepting the pink-haired girl would be very hard...for how...could she ever....learn to love....a beast.  
  
To be Continued.........  
  
A/N:  
  
Snow Bunny: Sorry if uploading took a long time, we went to Corregidor Island, you know, one of the place where World War II took place. It was scary, the tour's cool, the hotel is scary, the place is good but full of ghosts, dead people.. hehehe... thanks for the reviews we're touched ahuhuhu...  
  
Hehehe... I just want to let you know that I wrote 87% of this fic so I won't let my sister put her comments..nyahahah.... by the way MORE REVIEWS!!!!!!  
  
Kagemaji: what thetuuuut, youtoooot, asstououout....(calm down Kagemaji...calm down)...If you were 'your' husband's (Kishimoto...?) editor, he might have killed you by now... Anyway, to all who reviewed our fic...THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!  
  
If you wanna REVIEW, CHAT or CONTACT us... or simply know what we did in that fantastically creepy island. E-mail us at kagemaji3103yahoo.com or Snowbunny01313yahoo.com. Thanks!!! 


	3. Denpatou Electric Tower

A/N: Patience, you'll get to see the other characters soon...  
  
harikiri-suicide  
yamete kudasai-please stop  
  
DISCLAIMER : Naruto and all its fantastic characters belong to my only  
sister's brother-in-law...Kishimoto Masashi...  
  
CHAPTER 2  
  
"Denpatou (Electric Tower) "  
  
It was a gloomy day for a traveler, the clouds took up most of the sky and the surroundings seem moist, hot and stuffy. But unlike any other wandering guys around, Shikamaru paid no attention to the unwelcome climate, he have no time to bother, let alone complain about this stupid weather; he has a lot of complaining to do when he gets to that stupid princess who lock herself on that damn sht of tower. But to start a conquest to a land so far away, going through scorching desserts, pass blistering-cold mountains, crossing vast planes and oceans to the highest peak of a dead volcano, climb the tallest tower, fight a dragon to save another slutty princess with a heavy baggage and without any cattle or any means of transportation is just painfully absurd. Heaven forbid, if he ever lost his patience and decides to commit harikiri.  
  
And so, he did end up complaining, he can't help it even if the act took most of his energy. Resenting must've been embedded in his system since he saw the world and why stop now? Shikamaru's face was able to project a perpetually constipated look due to the fact that a big boulder is blocking his way. 'Great!' he thought, sarcasm drips on every part of his mind as he came closer to the "thing" in front of him. As he drags his feet towards another "unwelcome" problem he realized that it wasn't a boulder after all.  
  
Definitely not a thing of nature. Rocks don't whine and still eat potato chips let alone move (sheesh).  
  
"Oi, You're blocking my way..." was the lad's first introduction.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I just can't help it (munch) (munch)I'll move..." The "boulder" was talking, eating and burping much to the disgust of his spectator. Oh, yeah, it was actually a boy just like him, with arms and legs, weird hair and an oversize stomach. Waaaay, too oversized.  
  
"Hurry up, I'm still going to the nearest scorching desert" Shikamaru looked ahead, he could see a vast amount of sand. He's definitely near.  
  
"uhm..(munch)..yeah, sure..(burp!)" The round pig was having a hard time moving. But of course! This guy had a lot of time in hand, seeing the ample amount of lard in every part of his body and that really made him incapable of moving his limbs. Suddenly, the fat boy's face turned into a sickly shade purple and started coughing.  
  
"Oi, you alright?" Shikamaru moved nearer and slapped the other boy's back. He's not ok, that's for sure. He's rather chocking to death. The black- haired boy help stop the other from choking. With a few coughs, spit and vomit, more coughs, burps, curses and sighs. The round shitty(from Shikamaru) pig was saved.  
  
"Oh, thank you, thank you so much!!! By the way, I'm Chouji. How can I ever repay you??" The "Chouji" guy was on his knees hailing the other boy as if he is Buddha himself. Shikamaru however was not at all pleased with the situation, he would rather let the guy die if it wasn't for his reflexes. Look, if it's your time, its your time. Don't mess with death. After all, the "pig" might have deserved the punishment by the way "indulgence" was overly done.  
  
"You can't really do anything unless you're by any means, a good horse or anything to provide me transportation, but with your size, I doubt that you can even carry your ass." Shikamaru started walking away but he was caught with a puff of smoke behind him. A transformation occurred and he felt it. The fat boy turned into something, he prayed to Kami it's a white steed with a good posture, if that's what the idiot had planned. Carefully, he tilted his head sideward to look at the thing behind him.  
  
"Is this good enough?" a voice asked. Shikamaru turned around and saw the creature behind him.  
  
"See, I can help you sir!!" the creature happily exclaimed.  
  
Shikamaru sighed.  
  
"A talking donkey? What do you think am I? A green ogre?" The dark-haired lad made an ugly face upon seeing a grey, big-face, big-teeth donkey. The pissed boy stomped angrily away.  
  
"Wait, I made a wrong hand move! I'll try again!" Chouji, the donkey, was enveloped with a thick cloud of smoke and Shikamaru found himself coughing.  
  
"CHADA!!! Now I really got it!" the creature from the smoke called out. Shikamaru was fanning his eyes to see the what Chouji has transformed into.  
  
"I'm invincible! I'm irresistible! I'm enormous! I'm a great—"  
  
"a lizard?" Shikamaru held out the red "lizard" thing and examined it.  
  
"I'm a dragon, d-r-a-g-o-n..." the dragon whined trying to release a big amount of blaze but only managed to cough out a flicker. The boy dropped the creature. It's a weird lizard no matter how he looks at it. Any person with the right mind knows that.  
  
"Hey, I can be very helpful! The other red dragon helped a young girl defeat the invaders, saved the emperor AND brought HONOR to her family!!" Chouji was beginning to sound like Eddie Murphy.  
  
"LOOK SISSY, I'M NO CHINESE GIRL AND THIS IS NOT CHINA, GOT IT?!! STOP WASTING MY TIME AND LET ME BE, 'KAY???!!!" Shikamaru's patience really wore off.  
  
The black-haired boy was definitely pissed. Chouji transformed back to his old self and just followed the stomping boy towards the nearest dessert. Too tired to shoo the fat boy away, Shikamaru just let Chouji follow him.  
  
"I could hire a magic flying carpet from a nearby castle.." Chouji tried to console  
  
"OOOH SHUT UP!!!"  
  
After five long years under the reign of an invader, Ino grew up to be a lovely young lady. Everybody knew that of course even the evil queen who became very vain ...no, it was all too natural for Sakura to admire her face and hair in front of the mirror since she came, maybe if she could, she would even marry herself. Much to the distress of Kakashi who is currently sealed in the mirror, seeing the treacherous queen 24/7 isn't the most amusing thing in his obnoxious life. So he found better ways to entertain his self.  
  
"Mirror, mirror on the wall...who's the fairest of them all?" Sakura again, right in front of the mirror, first thing in the morning.  
  
15 minutes passed  
  
At last, A figure appeared.  
  
"Yoh!" It was Kakashi grinning at Sakura who's face was colored with unmasked furry.  
  
"I've been standing here for 15 minutes already..." She said, her voice clear with disappointment.  
  
"Oh, sorry...I got lost in the road of life...hehehe..." Kakashi laughed smiling weakly.  
  
"HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU BE LOST WHEN YOU ARE INSIDE THE FREAKING MIRROR???!!!" Sakura was literally tearing the wall apart, making Hinata, (her assistant, secretary, maid etc) run towards the room. Kakashi just sweatdropped.  
  
Trying to gain her composure, the queen was calmed by her assistant as she interrogated the mirror one more time.  
  
"Anyway, I'll ask again..." closing her eyes, she continued "...mirror, mirror on the wall...who's the fairest of them all?"  
  
After a second, when Sakura opened her eyes, she was greeted by a book of Icha Icha Paradise. Behind that was Kakashi intensely focused as he reads it. Seeing Sakura, he lowered the book and said "Huh? Did you say something?"  
  
You'll now see Hinata holding Sakura with all her might just to stop queen from destroying the mirror with a chainsaw.  
  
"Yamete kudasai! Yamete!!! Please calm down!! Sakura-san!" she pleaded. The queen's rage was up to the boiling point, her body temperature at about 50 degrees Celsius, veins popping everywhere, blood dripping, eyes bulging while poor (poor!) Hinata held her waist stopping her.  
  
'Ah, teenagers' Kakashi thought as he continued reading his precious hentai book.  
  
Sakura recovered with the help of the medicine Hinata gave although it seems that Hinata should be the one taking treatments here.  
  
For the very last time Sakura asked still shouting angrily but not too loud. "Who's the fairest of them all!?! You..You..You stupid mirror!!"  
  
Kakashi then scratched his head and said "Well, you see, I only have sharinggan and its only one and it can only see ninjutsu and genjutsu...maybe you should ask an Uchiha...they have two.. Oh, sadly only two people were left in their clan so..."  
  
He stopped seeing Sakura's face remolded with intense, indescribable wrath mixed with an ample amount of exasperation. And oh, what makes it scarier was her monster forehead...  
  
"ahahaha...haha...ha..." Kakashi laughed but barely.  
  
"Kakashi-san, just answer the queen's question, please." Hinata had suffered enough and she knows that another tantrum would cause her weak heart to fail.  
  
"Uhm..sure, you see, the fairest one of all is..."  
  
"I know!" Kakashi was cut by Sakura abruptly which made the jounin blink.  
  
"You're going to say Snow White right?" The queen stared at the mirror, breathing hard as Hinata held the curtains for support.  
  
"Eeeeeeeeeeennk! Wrong!" Kakashi declared positioning his thumb down. "We're not suppose to include people who are not in our own series Mizz..."  
  
"Th-that's r-r-right, my queen..(pant) (pant)" Hinata then sighed.  
  
"Then who?" Sakura asked, keeping the every last bit of patience she had feeling heavy. Kakashi slowly raised his head revealing a very serious face. The sky started to get dark, the wind blowing off the lights inside the tower making the room dark; a bit of lighting and thunder here and there and its a perfect setting for a horror movie, and yes, we have the wide-forehead monster to complete the scene. But it was Sakura's turn to get creeped out a little. Seeing Kakashi serious is a bit weird especially with this aura around them. Hinata was holding on for dear life.  
  
Then the jounin started. "The fairest girl in the kingdom is 12 years of age, has long blonde hair, loves flowers..."  
  
"Get to the point!" Sakura snapped.  
  
"Fine! It's Ino." Lighting struck the castle exactly right behind the window where Sakura is standing.  
  
Kakashi can only see a frozen piece of Sakura standing in front of him.  
  
"Uhm..ne?" Hinata timidly tapped her.  
  
"Miss Sakura?..." For a second she shrieked making Hinata's heart jump. Sakura, looking like a zombie outraged almost tearing her hair apart from the news, yelling and breaking things around her in an 'unqueenly' fashion, she even tried to break the mirror with an oversized hammer but Kakashi, who is now still calm after everything, was saved by the dying Hinata who made a secret promise to retire as soon as possible.  
  
"Hire me a Hunter! Anybody who can kill her, now!" shrieked the queen's horrid voice. Hinata knows no hunter and turned to Kakashi for help. The silver-haired jounin thought for a while and then...  
  
"Ah...Iruka...Iruka? Where are you?" Kakashi called.  
  
"I'm right here Kakashi, what is it?" Iruka answered smiling as he came popping out of nowhere. Both Sakura and Hinata stopped with big question marks hanging above them.  
  
"Our Miss Sakura here needs your help." Kakashi replied, also, smiling handsomely. Iruka walked towards the queen and bowed.  
  
"What is it that you want my Queen?" Sakura then regained her senses and started giving orders to a smiling Iruka. The queen looked at Kakashi who still has that overly wide smirk on his face. The angry girl decided to just get on with it.  
  
"I want you to bring Ino to the forest tomorrow, kill her, and for proof, bring her heart to me."  
  
Iruka's smile faded.  
  
"I can't do such dirty work ..." he said lowering his head and mumbling. "grr...I would rather do that to you for imprisoning Kakashi...(sniff)" Iruka made sure his voice was barely audible. Sakura flashed a look made for kill which made the chuunin cower.  
  
"If you will not do as I say..." Sakura though for a while. "...Kakashi will be inside this mirror...forever..." Sakura said with her devilish smile. Iruka then turned his worried face towards Kakashi who is now waving happily at him.  
  
"Th-This is blackmail!" he insisted .  
  
"Yes, its very obvious dear..." she grinned. Iruka was defeated.  
  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!" the queen's voice echoed through the whole kingdom accompanied with lightning and thunder.  
  
To be continued....  
  
A/n:  
  
Snow Bunny: Hi there, hope you like it. I know it's a bit short but my hand is aching together with my shoulders. By the way, to all Sakura fans, don't worry she'll have a good story too even though she's kinda bad here. I really like Shikamaru...don't know why, just find him...cool. About Ino and the "Yukino" thing... uhm it just came to us.  
  
Kagemaji: Thank goodness you didn't edit the whole fic... Oh, Naruto and the others are coming so don't worry, please continue reading, REVIEWING and patronizing...  
  
Snow Bunny: I did. I made 90% of this.  
  
You can e-mail us at kagemaji3103yahoo.com or Snowbunny01313yahoo.com. Thanks!!! 


	4. The Hunter, The Princess, The Snow Man?

DISCLAIMER : Naruto and all its fantastic characters belong to my  
parent's only son-in-law...Kishimoto Masashi...  
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
"The Hunter, The Princess and the Snow Man?"  
  
Every year, a time comes where the flowers are in perfect bloom, the sky is bluer than blue, the air is breathable and crisp while the sun shines not too harsh for a dancing princess over lilies, sunflowers and daffodils. Birds sing their melodious songs through the sickly sweet tunes of their chirps on tall proud trees. It seems so poetic and the day is mockingly perfect.  
  
A perfect day to kill another psychopathically self-centered queen, but no, Iruka was ordered to annihilate a fine young princess in the person of Ino. He has taught the young girl all his skills and molded her to become a better person rather than an excessively deranged princess she was. She's not that crazy, he just finds her ways a little abnormal, like the time where her hair use to flutter in different directions in a slow motion whenever she talks. Its maddening. But with a little help from Kakashi, he was able to endure all those demented talks about all the goodness in the world.  
  
"Hop on your horse Ms. Ino...We're going for a walk in the forest" Iruka was looking rather grave and a bit shaky. Obviously nervous and uncomfortable.  
  
"Hai" Ino smiled not even baring a slight hint of distrust which made the chuunin, if possible, more guilty. The stroll towards the forest is depressingly awkward. Iruka tried to avert his eyes away from the princess and Ino just looked at him questioningly.  
  
At the forest, Ino ran happily, singing songs of joy and making a wreath of flowers. The whole feeling of the season must've rubbed on her so much that Iruka was so sure that it was the same super bubbly princess in front of him.  
  
Ino can't help but let go of her happiness. Its been a while since she got out of that desolate place. Queen Sakura held her firmly under a tight grip that made her choke mentally. The Blue birds chirped with gaiety and the flowers called her once again. She have this indescribable feeling of enjoyment that she made necklaces of flowers for her and Iruka.  
The princess appeared to be a loose maniac of love and peace to Iruka's eyes who sat under a tree waiting for the right chance but still very hesitant.  
  
Ino was so happy that even the hills felt singing with her. Iruka was surprised when a familiar song came ringing in his ears. It sounded like " The hills are alive....with the sound of music.....lalalala...." It's the same stupid song. Again.  
  
After a few more songs, more bubbles, dreamy smiles and (oh god!) pathetic dance steps, Ino got tired and sat beside him.  
  
"What's the matter? Are you alright sir?" Ino's eyes were filled with sparkling liquid, Iruka thought he would melt on the spot.  
  
"Uhm....Yes...I'm fine princess... just a bit tired, I guess" Iruka looked away, thinking of ways to change the damn subject.  
  
"Oh, you miss Butler Kakashi don't you?" Ino said this, with eyes wide and a apologetic smile plastered on her face.  
  
'Great' Iruka thought. Talking about Kakashi is very hard for the poor chuunin especially at a nerve-wrecking time like this. Kakashi is his taisetsu na hito or precious uhm... friend (yeah right).. ehem...  
  
"If you don't mind, may I know how you two met?" Iruka's thoughts were cut by Ino's small sickly sweet voice. He felt his heart split with those pleading eyes and he felt so touched that Ino shows a bit interest about them.  
  
Like an old geezer, Iruka started telling stories starting from the day when he was just in kindergarten up to who knows when, adding bits of lessons here and there like a an old preacher of youth. Princess Ino on the other hand just listened rather enthusiastically, over-reacting to any significant event with full sound effects of "gasps", "noo waay!!", "really?!", "wow!!", "sigh!!" "great!!" which made Iruka confident and very, very touched. After hours of non-stop storytelling the older man sighed to his content.  
  
"Wow!!!! That was great!!!" Ino exclaimed for the 87th time. "But...uhm... you still haven't told me what happened to you when Mr. Kakashi got trapped in the mirror."  
  
"Oh, yeah, about that..." the chuunin suddenly turned into a resentful mood. "We were to meet outside the castle for a... a small luncheon, I waited and waited and he didn't come. Its been a week and still I haven't seen him. I still have the patience to wait though. I know he's late most of the time but a week is absurd!" Iruka looks hurt through those half-lidded eyes. Ino, just touched the latter's hand comforting him.  
  
"Is that so..." Ino said feeling sympathy for Iruka.  
  
"I was so sad..." he said, tears filling his eyes.  
  
"Yah I know...It's obvious.." Ino muttered  
  
"What?"  
  
"no.. It's nothing." She grinned.  
  
"No really, what is it?" the man insisted  
  
"nothing...its just that.."  
  
"what? What's obvious??" Iruka's patience is starting to snap. Ino decided to change the subject.  
  
"But you know Mr. Iruka, sometimes Mr. Kakashi is just so out of this world...I mean...he keeps on reading that orange book that's rated 'R'...and whenever we call him, he's always late... 'A black cat ran in front of me' was always his excuse....but there's not a single animal in our house.... Plus whenever we speak to him, he doesn't seem to hear what we're saying... he's too concentrated with that book, I heard he even have the next volume...something like... 'Make Out Violence' or something..." Ino sighed holding the flowers beside her.  
  
"Maybe he deserves to be punished sometimes..." she said.  
  
These words irritated Iruka, he was very sensitive when it comes to Kakashi and gets easily hurt with mere bad intentions. He then thought about the mission, if he didn't bring this girl's heart to the queen, its doomsday for both he and Kakashi.  
  
'I'm in a mission and that is to eradicate the princess, personal matters shouldn't come between!' The man thought firmly. (Although his reason for murder is all too personal)  
  
"I also hate it when he's late and sometimes...." The princess continues whining.  
  
Hearing the girl say that was enough to erase all the happy memories they had, he took it as a chance or a signal to pull out his kunai and stab Ino but she turned around with a bundle of flowers, the kunai left his hand easily.  
  
"Aren't the flowers beautiful?"  
  
Iruka froze.  
  
"My mother once said that a flower bud cannot reveal it's true beauty until it blooms. Don't you think they're like your students when you were a teacher in an academy before? As a teacher you guided all those kids, including me. You nourished us with all your knowledge and love, so we can grow up into wise and mature people and when that day comes, we can truly bloom." Ino smiled ever so sweetly at Iruka.  
  
The man's heart however, was deeply moved and he just stared at her in shock.  
  
"D-do you really believe that?" The dark-haired man was on the verge of crying.  
  
"Hai, I totally, honestly, think that you made us what we are today" Iruka looked at the girl with pure honor and admiration in his eyes.  
  
"Princess Ino..."  
  
"let's defeat that queen one day and rescue Butler Kakashi... ne? Sensei?"  
  
That did it. Iruka is just a smashed lump of male flesh under the mercy of Ino's glaring light. He's very proud of what the princess had become after years and years of hard work. 'Sensei, the princess called me sensei' The words rang inside the chuunin's mind, he felt weak-kneed as Ino continued smiling wide-eyed still sparkling, mouth extending from ear to ear, bubbles all around. She looks like she's about to eat the him alive.  
  
"ne...SENSEI?" she continued.  
  
Iruka's heart sank.  
  
Iruka's body was again filled with guilt that's now overflowing. He has seen the light leading to the new world. His spirit rejoiced, life rejuvenated. He was nearing the light when Ino woke him up. He could hear her cries.  
  
"I hope he hasn't seen the light yet...whatever happens don't come near it!" Iruka rose up finding Ino relieved and sitting next to him.  
  
"You fainted.." she said then handling him something  
  
"...I saw this kunai near you. What is it for?"  
  
Worried that Ino might know his true motives, he unintentionally threw the Kunai that almost hit Ino due to his reflexes. Horrified, Ino made short breaths and had a really frightful confused face (similar to Shinji Ikari's).  
  
They paused for a second when...  
  
"Ah...Gomen Ino...I'm sorry...It was an accident! Wait a minute please..." Iruka pulled a piece of paper and started mumbling. "Ok, after I unintentionally hit Ino...What shall I say?" He started browsing the papers when Ino said: "you're supposed to let me run.."  
  
"Oh, yah...ahahaha..." Iruka laughed feeling ashamed that he forgot his own script. "Ok here goes..." He then again turned serious and said  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry princess!! The Queen ordered me to kill you!!!"  
  
"What? What are you talking about, Mr. Iruka?" Ino was suddenly very afraid, chills ran through her spine.  
  
"The queen, she's jealous! You must escape the castle!!" Iruka was shattering the poor girl's eardrum but the princess looked determined.  
  
"I will fight her, I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!" Ino screamed like crazy (mimicking another very disturbed eva-pilot's movements and facial expression to add intensity to the scene)  
  
"I mustn't run away!I mustn't run away!I mustn't run away!I mustn't run away!I mustn't..."  
  
PAK!!!  
  
Iruka slapped Ino's face and the princess fell to her butt, holding her cheek looking at Iruka with tears in her eyes.  
  
"You shouldn't over do it..." Iruka stated firmly.  
  
"Oh, sorry"  
  
"Listen to me, your kingdom's future depends on you, bringing yourself to battle won't do you anything, don't waste your life fighting for something unattainable at the moment. Train, make yourself stronger and come back with your head up high..." The man had flags, ocean waves and fireworks on his back. The princess stared in wonder, all she can do is agree. She stood up and wipe the tears on her eyes like a brave soldier of war. Her heart pounding off her chest.  
  
"Hai, I understand, Sensei but what shall I do? Where do I go?"  
  
PAK!!!  
  
"I just told you, aren't you listening???!!!"  
  
BAM!!!  
  
"You're not suppose to hit me!!!" Ino punched the man, she's definitely mad.  
  
"Oh, sorry, ok.....Run! Run as fast as you can and never come back!"  
  
Afraid of her life and utterly confused of the whole situation, Ino ran towards the Forest of Death but she left saying:  
  
"I shall return.." and ran more, crying like a madwoman.  
  
After passing through the "Scorching Desert" with an unwanted companion, Shikamaru and Chouji made it to the "Blistering-Cold Mountain". Tired and chilled, the young men sought to stop and rest but couldn't find any suitable place. The dark-haired lad is a veteran and doesn't mind resting anywhere, he had endured so much that finding a comfy place is regarded as "troublesome", however the fat guy thought otherwise.  
  
(Note: Due to extreme weather conditions I wasn't able to see their reactions very well, so I'll do it in a script form and give the proper assumed expression needed in their situation. )  
  
Chouji: Aren't we there yet? (cold, shivering)  
  
Shikamaru: ...  
  
Chouji: Hey!!! I can't feel my toes!! (looks at his toes)  
  
Shikamaru: ... (continues to walk)  
  
Chouji: I'm hungry, let's eat.  
  
Shikamaru: ... (annoyed, continues to walk)  
  
Chouji: HEY! What happened to you? Snow got your tongue??  
  
Shikamaru: No, just shut up okay? (annoyed)  
  
Chouji: What?? This is abuse!! I'll loose weight just looking at these damned snow!!! (frowns)  
  
Shikamaru: Well, no one told you to follow me and shouldn't you be glad to loose a few pounds? I mean, look at you, you're already touching the mountain's ground!  
(looks at Chouji who's lower half had already sank in snow, pretty disgusted)  
  
Chouji: Well, you could at least help me!!! (whines)  
  
Shikamaru: No Way, It would've been better if you freeze to death. (continues to walk)  
  
A voice: That's rude!  
  
Chouji: Yeah! That's --- nyaaah!!! (screams, very surprised)  
  
Shikamaru: Oh, so you finally died...(looks at the back with a grin)  
  
(back to normal mode)  
  
Shikamaru turned around to see a lovely woman on top of Chouji's head. Her black hair flows freely from her back with an angelic face that would make goddesses jealous. She was dressed in an all white kimono and was staring intensely at Shikamaru.  
  
"Who are you?" The lad finally asked.  
  
"Before I answer that, I think you should help this guy first." She said pointing at the limp body of Chouji.  
  
"Oh, let's just leave him there.." The boy said, smirking. The young woman was not at all pleased and with a sway of her hand glass plates surrounded them and they were sucked into one and were transported in a place far from the mountains.  
  
"Cool!" Shikamaru exclaimed  
  
The young boy found themselves in the middle of a forest. Sunlight shone on every part of the sturdy trees everywhere. They're definitely not in those hated mountains anymore.  
  
"Where are we?" his voice very curious.  
  
"In the 'Vast Plane' of course, isn't this your next destination?" the woman asked mildly.  
  
"Oooh, the vast plane...hmm.." Shikamaru took his time inspecting the area, he's a bit hesitant about what the woman had told him. Shouldn't vast planes be...ah, plain? Meaning no forests whatsoever? He was actually thinking of a very large rice field but it turned out otherwise. Anyway, as long as they're out of that shtty piece of land form, he's all fine.  
  
"Well thanks for the help miss..." The boy gave her a lopsided grin. "But you know, girls like you can get in trouble in these kind of places, y' know, with all the wild animals, robbers and stuff.."  
  
The girl stared at the lazy guy before her, smiling sarcastically although she managed to do it in a very sweet way, which made the latter blush, averting his eyes.  
  
"n-not that it matters of course... i-its just that, you helped us and all..." Shikamaru gulped a little, felling really stupid for stuttering.  
  
"I'll be fine, thanks..." with that the girl bows and proceeded to another direction.  
  
"Oi, you didn't even tell us your name... Miss!" Chouji suddenly got up shouting at the young lady.  
  
"Oh, so you're not dead after all...tsk" Shikamaru muttered giving the other boy a disdainful look. The lady on the other hand didn't even look back but stopped on her tracks, giggling a little.  
  
"What's so funny?" Chouji wondered.  
  
"My name is Haku...and by the way, I'm not a girl..." the "lady" replied and then disappeared.  
  
"Not a girl? Which means---" Shikamaru gave a bewildered look at the figure ahead then to Chouji who fainted one more time.  
  
"...ah, so you lost it again..." The black-haired boy looked at his companion who had his jaws practically hanging from his stout face, saliva dripping as he lie on the ground.  
  
Shikamaru, on the other hand, is not at all pleased of what's happening, he never felt so weird in his life.  
  
'I actually blushed in front of a guy?!' he thought, horrified.  
  
"I met a stupid "dumb blonde" who happens to be a princess, found an idiotic pig with not a bit of stamina left and a beautiful lady who turns out to be a gender-confused boy....(sigh) the world is full of dark and disturbing mysteries." He shudders.  
  
The lad, Shikamaru, is now a bit skeptical of what or who would he encounter next as he carried his burdensome companion near a waterfall. He'll never know what lies ahead on these dark forests.  
  
To be Continued...  
  
A/N:  
  
Snow Bunny: ahahaha, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this chapter although its kinda serious..uhm, I think. Anyways, I still have a hangover about all the war tours, movies and crazy stories etc. so I thought I put here Gen. Douglas Mc Arthur's famous line... "I shall return"... hehehe, definitely a hangover from Corregidor... Filipinos out there know what I'm talking about, since it was pasted on our memories thanks to all those blasted history subjects. Also, about the war thing of what Iruka said, it was inspired by Kurz from FULL METAL PANIC 2, the Hot Spring episode...you should really watch it, one of the best comedy EVER!!!  
  
Kagemaji: Since its vacation, we do nothing but watch anime, 15 and more titles, our eyes are already dislocated and we just finished Naruto's eps 80, ahuhu still a long way to go, we're at Vol. 24 on the manga...  
  
If you want to chat, give comments, REVIEWS or just wanna talk about some anime series we've watched... ahehehe, (for your viewing pleasure.. so you'll know what to buy()  
  
e-mail us at Snowbunny01313yahoo.com or shinobijiyahoo.com  
  
REVIEWS please...( 


	5. The Others

DISCLAIMER : Naruto and all its fantastic characters belong to the twin brother of my mother-in-law's son...Kishimoto Masashi...  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
"The Others "  
  
As Ino ran through the thick woods of the dark Forest of Death,  
she became more and more frightened. It was dark and the air is kind of  
stuffy, she never traveled this far nor this deep inside the forbidden  
place and with a confused mind, its no surprise how traumatic this  
experience can get. With a help of little hallucinations about trees  
looking like ugly monsters which probably explains her loose screws, she  
fell instantly into a mass heap of dirt.  
  
"Where the hell am I?" she said panting heavily.  
  
She lay under an old oak tree that has barks and branches falling off  
piece by piece. Tired from all the craziness she's been, the poor girl's  
eyes dropped and felt heavy, Ino gave a large yawn.  
  
"This is frustrating....I just want to...slee...."  
  
"CLUNK!"  
  
a big nut fell from nowhere hitting her head, hard, making her jolt  
awake.  
  
"What the...?" She can see birds and stars flying around her head like a  
halo. She shooed them away but they kept flying.  
  
"Oh well..." She sighed, touching the sore spot on her crown. Lowering her  
head, she then closed her eyes when suddenly another object hit her, this  
time, to her relief, is far from hard. Actually, it was rather soft and  
slimy and...  
  
"Ok, what the hell is it now?!" Ino lifted her hand to touch the "thing".  
  
...smelly.  
  
Looking at her hands, her eyes blast open and started screaming in  
horror as if it was her last.  
"YUUUCK!!! B-b-b-bird's poop!!! Help!!" She stammered running wildly  
toward all directions.  
  
Due to her exaggerating outbursts, as usual, Ino tripped and  
bumped into a tree, rolled endlessly down the hill, hitting big rocks,  
flying dangerously high up the air, landing on hard logs, rolled again,  
dived into the dirty swamps, chased by a crocodile, emerged from water,  
ran again, rolled and finally stopped when she hit an enormous trunk of a  
tree.  
  
That was a bit exaggerated but that was a great adventure for a  
princess like her, being dirty and stuff, she needs exercise you know.  
  
Well, getting back, Ino who had the senses to asses her  
distressed situation, curses in unexplainable rage with more "esses".  
  
"Goodness!!!! This stupid forest!! If I'm not the princess, I could have  
died ten times!!! No wonder its called Forest of Death!!! (And why am I  
even still alive?)...Ouch!" she complained kicking and hitting a tree  
several times and so more nuts, twigs and branches hit her head.  
  
"ARRRRGGGGHHH!!!"  
  
She should've at least thanked the tree for knocking her senses  
back (hehe). Finally, after exorbitant tantrums, cries and curses, she  
walked away from the scene with only few scratches and bumps, even her  
dress is still perfectly intact, nobody knows how. She then started  
strolling again, this time looking at the road intently avoiding anything  
that might harm her. As she drew nearer the end of the path, something  
caught her eye.  
  
A tower, no, a house in the middle of the loathsome place. It had  
different colors and weird things glued to it just like what she saw on a  
ninja anime, having swirls here and there. The house is not like a small  
hut that's suppose to be (maybe some renovation occurred, who knows). Its  
painted in dirty white with a red roof and a chimney, it has a second  
floor and three small windows in front the higher part and two below. One  
thing noticeable is the vast amount of sand on the left side of the house  
and a huge training ground on the right. Surrounding it are very, very  
tall trees with dents from knives? She approached the house cautiously,  
trying to calm her curiosity.  
  
Ino knocked several times almost smashing the doorknob, shouting  
and doorbelling when reality struck her...there was nobody home. She turned  
the battered doorknob and went inside. The girl was met by a living room  
on her right where seven different kinds of bean bag with names made to  
form a circle around the fireplace, in the middle is round table which  
also serves as a small cabinet below and a dining on her left with  
cabinets on the wall and another big round table with seven chairs, ahead  
is the stairs leading to the bedrooms.  
  
Actually, the house looks perfectly fine except from the  
unbelievable mess around. Clothes were scattered everywhere, the floor  
has traces of sand, dust, bugs, cobwebs, and a huge pile of dishes plus a  
god-awful stinky smell of...dogs?  
  
'It really looks like a war took place but aside from that, its fine!'  
Though Ino thought this with sarcasm. Beggars can't be choosers and if  
she wants a place to stay, she would have to live with this monstrosity.  
She then tiptoed her way through the dining searching for food, when her  
feet was caught onto something...  
  
A severed arm poking from a huge amount of sand.  
  
She fainted.  
  
After recovering from shock, she became skeptical on the idea of  
having to stay in her "hideout". What do you know, beggars can be  
choosers. But evaluating her current dilemma, it's the perfect place to  
at least rest. Ino then decided to just look for food and find a new  
'more' safer place without bugs, sands and definitely NO severed arms.  
  
The princess searched inside the cabinet which has seven storage compartments with their own doors. She opened one and all she found were energy drinks and vitamins with names attached to it, but mostly, the sticker says "Lee" so decided to go back at it later. Ino opened the next compartment and found a lot of shampoo, conditioners plus lots of hair enhancement products and Eye cleansers for a guy named "Neji". The girl was a bit surprised to know that a man fumbles over his hair too much. Still no food so she searched the next and found piles of dog food, next were "Sunglass cleaner" with bugs all over, the other compartment, (to her horror) was full of sand, sleeping pills, aniti-pain pills and more severed human parts in glasses.  
  
It creeped her out like hell.  
  
She instantly shut the compartment feeling cold and looking rather pale, breathing hard thinking that terribly insane murderers must be living in this house. To her panic, she then opened the last and was surprised by a pile of different kinds of Ramen. 'At last, something edible...' The shaken girl got one and started preparing the food to eat.  
  
After indulging in the delicious taste of ramen, the princess sought to make her escape but after looking at the room one last time, she felt a bit guilty for trespassing and even taking food. With her "princessly" instincts, she then considered the thought of cleaning the house as a token of appreciation. The now, determined lady, started making handseals and some incantations she learned from Kakashi.  
  
"Buunshin no jutsu!"  
  
Ten replications of Ino appeared and she gave them orders to start cleaning the house.  
  
"where did all these sand came from?!" One of her replication wondered.  
  
"It smells like dogs..." another whined.  
  
"Don't tell me a werewolf lives here." Several told each other.  
  
After a gruesome process of cleaning the ground floor while  
discovering more and more outlandish stuffs which includes, kunais,  
shurikens, more ramen cups, comb (even porno magazines!) and consuming  
half of the day, the once spit-of-hell-house is now sparkling clean. For  
an added touch, she placed her ever famous flowers on top of the table  
with seven little chairs. Tired from using most of her chakra, she went  
upstairs to start cleaning the bedrooms.  
  
The princess went up to find a single door, when she entered, the  
room was big and six beds were seen; two sides of the square room had  
three beds, each set facing the other three across like a hospital ward.  
Each have bed sheet has its own design and color theme. The plain dark  
blue, yellow sheet with big red swirls and green sheet with a face of a  
man printed who looks like Butler Gai were on her left while a white one  
with black paw prints looking like a Dalmatian's fur followed by a simple  
grey sheet and dark red on the right. Ino wondered where the seventh is,  
since almost everything in the house was made up of 'seven' . She then  
thought about the sand guy and the sleeping pills.  
  
'Hmm...Oh well, might as well start' the blonde doesn't want to think about  
the any derange murderer, whoever he is.  
  
The original being left, Ino didn't take her time and  
finished cleaning the bedroom easily. She was careful not to separate  
private things from the bed. Totally wasted and out of chakra, she  
decided to rest on one of her favorite beds, the one with the neatest  
cover in dark blue and fell instantly asleep.  
  
Meanwhile in a not-so-faraway cave  
  
"Digdigdigdigidigdigdig is what we like to do, digging diamonds to make  
us rich...chuchu..." A very disturbing song can be heard that only one person  
can sing.  
  
One of the (supposed to be) 'dwarves' that was so pissed off by  
the song and never even tried digging gold went outside the cave, wanting  
to escape this nightmare, shameful fate, the horror by the most awful  
song by the lowest form of human being...no, the singer isn't even a NORMAL  
human... whatever it is, the raven-boy had entered when he 'felt' an  
intruder in their house 50 miles away. He stopped and used his  
'sharinggan eyes' to make sure.  
  
"SASUKE!" a yellow haired guy appeared and with an ear-piercing voice  
yelled at him making the other jump almost dropping on his butt. If that  
ever happened, what a shame it is to the name of the Uchiha's!  
  
"What?!" Sasuke who now regained his composure at the sight of the  
approaching idiot at his back.  
  
"What are you looking at?! Go back there and work!!" Naruto ordered  
pointing towards the cave.  
  
"Who are you to order me around??!" The raven-haired boy is definitely  
annoyed.  
  
"I'm the leader here for your information!!!" The blonde retorted back.  
  
"The dog-guy said the same and what do you know, he's now hiding behind  
his tail..." Sasuke coolly replied. With Kiba's very sharp sense of  
hearing, he immediately stomped out of the cave followed by Shino who was  
digging using his bug friends.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY UCHIHA BOY??!" Kiba is obviously displeased, fuming  
with what the Uchiha had said.  
  
"I said you're still a meek puppy"  
  
Sasuke is a genius, everyone acknowledges that even the loud fox.  
Unfortunately, the sharinggan owner is also a genius in making matters  
worse .  
  
Well, sometimes, but not as good as Naruto.  
  
"I"LL BURY YOU HERE!!" Kiba was ready to strike.  
  
"Oi!! This is between Sasuke and me!!" Naruto blurted out and went to  
attack the raven-haired boy.  
  
The commotion led Rock Lee out of the cave, trying to stop the  
three idiots.  
Shino on the other hand just watched everything with his perfectly blank  
stare, letting his companions beat the crap out of each other.  
  
"STOP!!" Lee tried holding them, but like loose animals, they just gave  
him a hard punch, and the fuzzy-eyebrow's thin body flew.  
  
"Ouch!" Lee rubbed his back and looked up to see that he was on Gaara's  
feet who was now outside and very irritated with his sudden migraine due  
to all the noisiness. The taijutsu master instantly crawled away as fast  
as he could looking horrified to see death hover over him. He almost lost  
his limbs once. NEVER again. NEAR Gaara is a BIG NO-NO.  
  
Sand-boy on the other hand was nearing the boiling point and was  
touching his head in pain, grunting and moaning. This stopped the three  
jerks and moved farther away as much as possible.  
  
"What's going on here?" Neji went out the cave looking like the leader,  
big boss, father etc.  
  
"Sasuke's not working!!!" Naruto automatically cried out.  
  
"I WAS, but I felt someone inside our house dammit!" Sasuke decided to  
get to the point to stop the noisy fox from more complains. Kiba who is  
now very sore everywhere decided to shut his mouth upon seeing the  
"crazy sand boy" plus the "know-it-all Byakuggan guy".  
  
"Yeah right! You're just making excuses!" the blonde countered.  
  
"Why the hell would I do that? Stupid fox!" Sasuke murmured, thinking that why he even bothered to tell the dobe what he was thinking while he knew from the very beginning that he doesn't listen to things that are worth knowing and besides Naruto is just unbelievably stupid that he won't understand it anyway.  
  
"What?!" the fox-kid asked to Sasuke who just shrugged and walked away.  
  
"grrr...why you...you..." Naruto didn't finish cursing the red-eyed from head  
to toe when small creatures came crawling down his feet.  
  
"AAARRRGGH?! Shino! What the hell are these?!  
  
"Bugs" he answered blankly.  
  
"I know! I'm not stupid!" Naruto told the guy while his nerves where  
shaking.  
  
"But you are stupid." Shino remarked, even his tone seems blank.  
  
"Was that a joke?!" Naruto asked feeling mortified.  
  
Shino just blinked. Naruto really thought that Shino is weird and all but  
being such a 'No Reaction' type of person is really something that kind  
of pisses him off.  
  
"ah, ok...just get them away from me! Not everyone are bug-obsessed y'  
know" The blonde gave a look of disgust which made the other boy kind of  
pestered and sent some of his bug-friends near Naruto's very private  
parts.  
  
"YAAA!!! OK, SORRY!!! FINE!!!" The fox kid almost made a strip tease with  
his awkward scratches here and there. The small creatures rustled away  
from Naruto and the blonde, pouting, just sat beside Kiba who was digging  
while Lee joined them.  
  
"Oi, Kiba! Why the hell are you digging? Looking for bones?!" Naruto  
asked with his face curled up in a sly smirk.  
  
"Kinda...I'm helping Akamaru..." Kiba answered, not minding the slight tease  
in Naruto's tone while brushing his pet's back.  
  
"There's a lot of dog food back home! Why don't you just let him eat it?!  
And besides you should be digging jems and crystals, not those slimy  
bones! You don't even know whose bones are those! We're supposed to be  
dwarfs remember? You should act at least-near-human, dog brain! Get it?  
Dog brain!! NYAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!"  
  
Kiba's fangs appeared. Sasuke sighed, Shino smirked a bit while  
Lee tried to calm things down. Wait, Shino actually smirked!?! Too bad  
his face is covered with a corny over sized uhm..collar? Still the noisy  
kid continued laughing until his laughs turned to shouts of horror as if  
he's going to die. Well, actually he IS really going to die.  
  
"Shut up" the red-haired with a gourd snapped coldly, quite irritated by  
Naruto's never ending babble; Gaara's sand now covering half of the loud  
kid's body.  
  
'Serves him right' Kiba and Shino thought while admiring the view of  
Naruto's near-death experience.  
  
"Quit playing around, Gaara" Sasuke appeared from the back of the two  
genins.  
  
While the bug-guy and the dog-boy gave sighs of disappointment learning  
that Naruto's life was spared.  
  
"This is interesting..." Gaara's dark eyes widened.  
  
"Sasuke..." Naruto's eyes overflowed with tears and thanked Sasuke for the  
first time. The Uchiha just gave a look of disdain.  
  
"I am the only one who has the right to kill this idiot" Sasuke announced  
rather proudly.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
To stop more moronic things to happen again, Lee decided to change the  
subject and asked the Uchiha about what he said a while ago.  
  
"Ne.. Sasuke-kun, what were you saying about an intruder at home?"  
  
The raven-haired boy didn't answer, tired of repeating himself.  
Everyone's attention were directed to Sasuke and seeing how stubborn the  
Uchiha is, Neji used his Byakuggan's new profound telescopic power which  
can reach up to 70 miles (WOO!) to scan the area and their home.  
Everyone upon seeing this hurriedly hid, leaving Neji confused which makes him think that everyone's scared of him. "Hehe..." he snickered. He was very pleased to know that his comrades are all losers and are too afraid to see the real power of the Hyuga clan.  
  
"Why are we hiding? Even Gaara covered himself in a large amount of sand and Sasuke too?" Naruto asked intently to the others.  
  
"Byakuggan can see through anything stupid!" Kiba explained.  
  
"So what's wrong with that?" the fox kid again asked with his eyebrows  
curling in confusion.  
  
"BAKA!! You might want to keep your privacy don't you?!" Kiba exclaimed  
  
"huh?" Naruto still doesn't know anything.  
  
"hello??? See-through-anything.." Kiba is getting more and more  
impatient.  
  
"Sou! I remember one time Neji used his Byakuggan to see through Shino's  
body during his fight!" Lee made a hand gesture hitting his left palm  
with the fisted right hand as if a bulb suddenly appeared above his head.  
  
"M-my body?" Shino said lowering his head, his face turning into a pale  
shape of purple while looking at his harassed body.  
  
"Hentai!" he added with a very low voice, his face now turning into a fury shade of red.  
  
All four of them turned to look at Neji with burning faces cursing every  
part of his human life.  
  
Neji, unbeknownst that he's being ripped mentally piece by piece by his  
companions because of his mental capacity to comprehend that he's not  
being feared for his power but by his lack of decency using that  
"Perverted-eyes" (as Naruto puts it) while everyone's around, is clouded  
by all self-uplifting thoughts and is also concentrated on the intruder  
in their house. After scanning, and having his eyes back to normal,  
everyone reappeared, ready to tear him apart when he concluded things.  
  
"There IS someone in the house."  
  
To be continued....  
  
A/N:  
  
Snow bunny: Did you like it? Ahahaha, I hope you did, actually writing  
this is a lot easier since my sister had (at last!!!) the initiative to  
write constructively!! We had a lot of fun writing this and we hope that  
we portrayed each character nicely (except for Ino whose very exaggerated  
of course) We also decided that Neji's Byakuggan be improvised just for  
the sake of it... hehehe the concept about everything here is somewhat  
original and we talked about it while I was kind of working out...  
  
Kagemaji: I don't know what to say, she told everything...so again, REVIEWS please or E-mail us at kagemaji3103yahoo.com or Snowbunny01313yahoo.com. Thank you!!!  
  
Snow Bunny: Oh, by the way, thanks to my sister who patiently sat by my side while I tire myself typing this even though its supposed to be her fic.. for bringing me glasses of water, getting the cds for my background music and looking at the Thesaurus...(even though she's suppose to be doing all of this and I should just edit it.) 


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